Sunshine and Rainbows
From guest blogger Tamra Norman, a foster/adoptive mom. Find more stories from the Norman family visiting their blog.
On my last blog post about adopting, I made a comment about this journey not being all sunshine and rainbows. But then I filled your Facebook feed yesterday with picture perfect pictures and smiling faces of a little baby who was adopted as an infant and came to us from the hospital. So I have felt this burden to make sure as an advocate for these kids, I clear up a few things.
- We will begin our 7th year of fostering in May and out of 20+ kids there have been 5 total that have gone up for adoption. Our girls, Henry, and 2 others. 5. Let that number sink in.
- In 6 years of fostering we have only brought 2 babies straight home from the hospital at birth. Henry, and one who only spent one night with us. Our first placement was 4 weeks old. Still a newborn but not straight from the hospital.
- The majority of our kids have reunified with family members or parents.
- Henry is number 7 and there's been one born recently. He has a half sister who went to live with her father, 5 half siblings (these 5 have the same mom and dad) who are in an adoptive placement, and 1 born in December who is currently in the care of birth family.
- Henry was on track to leave us and go with his birth dad. His case was kept completely separate because termination had already happened on the others and reunification with his father was the plan. I had actually built a good relationship with dad so I could help out after he left.
- I couldn't send him to daycare for the first 8-9 months. Like it was court and doctor ordered because he was too fragile. This meant I worked, had 4 other kids, and had to work out his schedule as well.
- Henry was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. FAS is currently a leading diagnosis only behind autism. So I decided instead of keeping this as some dark and dirty secret, awareness is key.
Why do I tell you all of this?
- Because bringing a newborn home from the hospital and adopting them a year later is not the norm.
- Because if you foster to eventually adopt a newborn, you may get tired of waiting. I would've waited for almost 7 years and let me tell you something...when you are fostering just to hopefully get a newborn you can keep, you won't make it 7 years.
- Because sometimes all we get are the pretty pictures on Facebook and we don't get the real picture behind them.
Am I thrilled Henry is a part of our family? Absolutely!! Do I foster babies/kids in the hopes they will stay with us forever? Absolutely not. That's called adoption. And there is a huge need for adoption with older kids and sibling groups. We choose to foster, pray for reunification, and pray for restoration in families. And most of the time, that is exactly what happens.
